Episode 1
INNNNCAAAA!!! We thought about a variety of names to call her, i.e. the Incmaester, the Incster, Incerator. But I think the high pitched squeal of INNNNCAAAA is really the only way to describe her. We escaped from the prison cell two Fridays ago. We definitely did it refugee style: packing at 4am in silence, tiptoeing around the house to find our things, leaving early in the morning with only a sandwich for lunch. After we left, Angeles called Inca to tell her that we would be coming back around nine to take our suitcases and go…and never return. We narrowly escaped the wrath of Inca. When we walked in (praying to God that we wouldn’t have to speak to her) she was dressed in her finest clothes and all 200 pieces of gold jewelry she owned, looking quite a lot like that old lady in the bar in the beginning of “Titanic”. If we had thought the house was cluttered before, now our table that had been covered in plants and pictures was now also jumbled with all of Inca’s china and any figurine she had ever collected from a pawn shop, her grandmother’s attic, or a McDonald’s happy meal. We quickly gathered our things and rushed out the door to avoid as much awkward conversation as possible (I’m not really sure if there can be awkward conversation when you can’t understand a word of what someone is saying, but if there can, this would be the time). On our way out the door, Inca managed to slip in her usual twelve stories, a boob grab, and a face pull and told us that if we ever needed ANYTHING we should call her. I will be sure to call her the next time I don’t feel like talking for days or if I decide to go anorexic.
Episode 2
Paloma. Friday night I moved in with Caroline, another girl from our program who had been previously living alone with Paloma and her dog, Bombo. I went to Cordoba on Saturday during the day, but I think my day on Sunday pretty much sums up the angelic figure that Paloma was in my life. I woke up Sunday morning to breakfast in bed…and not just any breakfast in bed...no… chocolate con churros. I didn’t even care that I had just eaten late night chocolate con churros 4 hours earlier; heaven had come to earth. Then she proceeded to invite me to go to the gypsy market with her and her best friend. I brought 10 euro and I bought three things of makeup, a purse, perfume, a bracelet and earrings. Incredible. Next, we went out to lunch at the local café. When the waiter came to ask us what we wanted to drink, Paloma wouldn’t let me order my usual glass of water. Oh, no, she ordered us beer. We sat at that café, laughing and talking for almost three hours: her friends kept pulling up chairs to sit at our table, the drinks were never ending, it was someone’s birthday, I learned how to dance flamenco, and I passed away my favorite Sunday afternoon in Sevilla with ten 40 year old Spanish people in a café. Unfortunately, I had to move out again that night because of complications with Kathryn’s living situation. We got back to the house just in time for me to throw all my stuff in my suitcase and move on to my third home in Sevilla.
Episode 3
Maria Jose. Peace, Love, and good food. I now live in el Centro which is like the center of everything… 10 minutes to school, 10 minutes to work, 10 minutes to SHOPPING! It is not Paloma, but at least it is not Inca. Our laundry is done the day that it is started. I don’t know what kind of magic Maria Jose is doing, but it works. Also, my shower has a door, and a place to actually insert the shower head. I am now allowed in the kitchen, and I see the dog every day.
Well that wraps up the three part series of “The Senora”. Tune in next week for our new prime time special, “living with heat”.
P.S. Three days ago I got a bag of clothes from Angeles that Inca had just returned to her…clean.
The picture is taken of us in Cordoba!
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